Probably most of you when you saw the title thought: “Why would I want to break up?” And I’m not saying that everyone should end his/her relationship. There are couples that fit excellent together and should do their best to make their relationship last. But there are others that don’t and just don’t admit it. I’m talking about these people.
You might also think:
How does he know which relationship is right and which is not?
And the answer is simple. I have been in both cases and I wasn’t admitting anything, even though friends and family members were trying to open my eyes. In the end I understood my mistakes and I learned from them, like with everything else in life. Of course I had my share of creating that “bad” relationship because both individuals always do something to cause the relationship to be like that; whether they use bad use of actions, words or both.
After that I saw many friends of mine or strangers having issues between them and their significant other, but still remaining together. I tried to explain them what I will to you in a moment. Not many listened to me and that’s their choice. I’m not judging anyone, it’s their life. However the ones that did became happier afterwards because they weren’t meant to be together.
Here are a few of the most common reasons that destroy relationships. If you are in at least one of these, then think again if you are going to trust me or not on what you should do for your own happiness:
- He/she puts a lot of pressure on you for anything
- He/she doesn’t lets you go out with your friends alone
- You only get to see his/her friends
- He/she controls your every move
- You never get to choose what you gonna do/buy etc.
- He/she is really jealous, maybe even with your friends
- He/she doesn’t trust or respect you
- He/she doesn’t support you and maybe even downgrade you
- There is no communication in between you
- He/she is not loyal or truthful
Do you experience on daily basis any of these, if not most of these cases? Then that relationship is already a dead-end. It’s hard to hear these words like that, but it’s true. You get to feel happy for a few moments that you meet your partner but afterwards all these happen. In the process you lose your friends, the memories you create with them, other experiences you might have, job opportunities and plenty more. Does that relationship worth losing all these great things in life? Think about that for a second, because your happiness based on it. Most people believe that it does worth it and prefer to stay unhappy because they think that they found the one. That’s what we all think and that’s the hard part, to compare and decide if it really makes you happy or the other way around. And then take the lead and end it. No one likes break ups and some people even make it harder for them to accept it.
However it’s not the end of the world. There are plenty of other awesome people to meet. When you accept that this relationship makes you miserable and decide that you need to end things; then it’s time for the next step, which is taking action. There are bad ways to do that and good ones. That makes things better or worse and can even cause you a friend.
The absolute worst way to end things is using some kind of device; either texting with your smartphone or texting in social media app/website like Facebook. Telling something like that, which is hard and heart-breaking for the other person is unbearable. And you add the faceless factor to that, which makes things terrible. After that comes the call. Calling him/her to tell him/her that you are breaking up will still devastate that individual. People connect better face-to-face situations, whether these are good or bad cases. Don’t use technology for telling news of that nature.
Now that we covered how to deliver the message, let’s talk about what to say. Be kind and empathetic to the other person. Most people won’t accept the fact that you wanna break up. They have the right to be like that and don’t want you to leave them. So they will be sad and maybe even angry. Tell them in a nice way why you can’t stay in that relationship and why it’s hurting both of you. Make them understand why you ending things up. Lastly tell him/her that you will be there whenever he/she needs your help and remain good friends in the rest of your life. If you break up with someone doesn’t mean you have to hate the other person or forget him/her. You share some fun moments together and that will never change. Plus friends are great to have in your life. After all of these give him/her time to relax from all the tension and accept what you said.
All these will close the wound easier and faster, but still a break up needs time. Be prepared though because many people don’t accept something that they didn’t choose and they will be mean towards you or won’t accept breaking up with them. Of course it’s their problem because you chose what you want for your happiness and you manage to transmit that in the best way possible.
Leaving someone can be really hard for both. But if a relationship doesn’t create happiness and instead creates misery then things need to change. Think through if you have any of the problems mentioned above and use the steps to end things in a friendly way. It’s not nice to lose a friend that as a couple spent plenty of time together.
Share this article to inform more people and tell us your thoughts in the comments below: Did you find the information helpful? What are the problems you are facing? What did you do about them? Do you feel happier after a while?