We all have something that really scares us and that is because it’s part of who we are. Fear is one of the most common emotions human beings feel. Sometimes we encounter things that we are afraid of or we imagine things that are not real, but still very frightening or even have nightmares about them. No matter what, in our own eyes they all feel real.
What is fear really? It’s the emotional response of your brain to protect your body from physical or emotional thread. Therefore it’s actually good because is the defense mechanism you have against danger. It reminds yourself that you are still alive and you can fight back. The moment you face something that you fear, you are aroused, causing your heart rate to increase drastically and your muscles to tense. That effect is the reason why fear is helpful. It boosts your body with adrenaline making you more alert, stronger and faster. Think about these scenarios and probably they already have happened to you. A wild animal trying to bite you, a policeman chasing you because you did something wrong, you or a loved one of yours was in danger. Did you run faster to get away from the dog? Did you find the strength to lift a heavy object from your friend’s leg? You get the idea, right? As we said above fear is part of us. It’s up to you to learn how to control it, and if you do, then it can be really helpful in stressful situations.
All kinds of phobias are being set in our minds when something happens and we connect it with negative emotions in order to protect ourselves. These phobias most of the times are created when we are kids because we are more vulnerable. Let me explain why that is the case. Let’s say you are 3 years old and you are on the floor playing with your toys. Then your mother comes in the room and she sees a mouse. She freaks out and starts screaming. You as a child absorb any information that is given to you like a sponge. Therefore you experience all these negative emotions and actions from your mother and you connect them with the mouse. That creates the fear and panic in your mind when you encounter a mouse.
However that doesn’t mean that you can only be afraid of something while you are young. You may experience it when you grow up. The most common phobias are fear of spiders, darkness, snakes, public speaking, small places, death, being alone, heights, water, needles and even being around other people.
Some people instead of trying to fight their phobias, they try to push it away so they can feel relief at the moment. They use substances like alcohol, drugs and even going to work in order to forget the problem. However if you don’t face your fears then you will not be emotionally free. That is the only way of solving the problem. Your mind is so strong and controls every thought you have. That is why you need to learn how to use it to your advantage. Because fearing of something is actually more painful than the physical pain you can experience from that situation.
I used to afraid needles and heights from a young age. Every time I had to go to the doctor I was creating all these negative emotions in my head that drove me crazy. When I became a teenager I decide to stop thinking like that and changed my mindset. Guess what, I did it. Since that day I take blood tests every year and any other related tests if needed to make sure I’m healthy.
My fear for heights is still in progress but at least I’m working on it. Now that I am a calisthenics athlete, I need to learn new moves every few weeks. In some of them I need to release the pull up bar, jump even higher, do the maneuver and then come back to the starting point. It may seem easy to most of you, but for me it’s not. Those that are terrified with the idea of heights they know what I’m talking about.
When you change your own mind-set you will start overcoming your deepest fears. You are the one that creates all these thoughts that make you go crazy. If you don’t stop panicking right now at this moment, you will always go back to those negative emotions. I know it’s hard, I have been there and believe me, there is nothing more soothing than stop being afraid. Give it a try. Will Smith explains fear and how to overcome it perfectly in his movie “After Earth”, so go watch it.
Now if you changed your mindset it’s time to start fighting back. First of all you need to ask yourself a few questions to make clear in your mind what scares you. What do you fear? What are the reasons that made you fear that? How does it hold you back in life? When you think of these questions you are ready to start overcoming your fears. If you know someone who went through what you are going, especially the same phobia and they defeated their fears, ask them what they did. Ask even if you don’t share the exact same problem but similar. An example would be spiders and snakes. They both are deadly creatures. The more feedback you get the better.
Next is the hardest step but the most vital, which is exposure. I know it’s hard but it doesn’t have to be so hard. Find a safe place with 1 or more of your loved ones being there with you. A safe environment helps a lot. Also if something goes wrong you know that your loved ones have your back. “What’s the worst that can happen?” tell that to yourself to motivate you so you can face it. Next you need to start breathing. It won’t take away the fear but it will calm you down and reduce your stress. Always think positively and keep saying to yourself things like “That is not real”, “It’s not happening”, “It will not kill me”, etc. The more exposure you have the more fearless you get. At some point you won’t be terrified to face it even by being alone. These are the points that you need to consider and whatever you do, just don’t avoid it or resist it. It will not go away and it will come back again.
Fear and phobias can be a real pain in the ass for everyone. The worse thing is that they are hard to let go. Every person has something that bothers him or her, but that is not the real problem. If you want to be the one to let go and overcome that fear of yours, now you know how. The real problem is your mindset, so change it and relieve yourself once and for all.
Share this article to inform more people and tell us your thoughts in the comments below: What do you fear most? What phobias do you have? Will you try these steps on overcoming your fears? Do you have any other ways to suggest?